9   +   9   =  

Romantic partners are forced to be chivalrous on Valentine’s Day. But what happens on the other 364?

 

Love is a scary, intense feeling.  It is a deep affection that once stirred up inside of us, brings about a sense of warmth and kindness that we may not know we had. It’s the type of feeling that makes us want to go out of our way and do things for our significant other. 

In many, it also revives the idea of chivalry, or the expectation of it. While chivalry in the ‘knight in shining armor’ sense is long gone, its modern day equivalent still exists today. It comes in the form of opening a door, or showing genuine concern for your partner’s safety. It may be lending a helping hand, or helping your girl put her jacket on.  

On Valentine’s day, we see it on full display, from nervous guys clutching a box of chocolates and flowers in the check-out line at supermarkets, to our friends’ social media posts about how much they appreciate their partners on the day of. 

But what about the other 364 days of the year? Where does that investment into relationships disappear, and why do women assume settling for the lack of chivalry is the norm?

From my past relationship, I can attest to the fact that chivalry is not dead at all. I had my ‘knight’ who would always sweep me off my feet with his act of kindness. I had those moments where the door was being opened for me and I was surprised with unexpected dates, flowers and the sweet words of how he felt about me. It definitely kept our relationship afloat, and it just felt safe. 

Chivalry started to fade away with time. It seemed that my ‘knight’ needed a day off from his hard work. It was not long before a day turned into a week, then a month, until the relationship itself faded away. 

It’s crazy that once you get used to the act of chivalry and kindness, you don’t think it’ll stop. But eventually, it does. This shouldn’t be the case. Chivalry shouldn’t have to be endangered, nor does it have to be an unattainable standard that is naive for a woman to expect. 

Instead, it should be the glue that holds your relationship together. Going out of your way to perform an act of kindness for your loved one shouldn’t be a chore — you should naturally want to put a smile on your partner’s face. Making them feel loved shouldn’t be something that you remember to do only once a year on Valentine’s Day. It’s something that you have to want to do on the other 364, to show your partner that you want to be in a relationship with that person, even if you have been together for a long period of time.