How to find hope and healing during times of grief from a biblical perspective.
As a campus, we are going through an unprecedented time with the recent loss of several students and a graduate. Anger, confusion, sadness and other mixed emotions make this time difficult to navigate. Grief tends to be the main emotion that hangs over our heads when we lose a loved one. It clouds our perception and even our personality.
It’s hard to see an end to the storm, but it’s promised and shown throughout the Bible that we can get through grief. I hope these findings and my personal experience with grief can help you get through this storm and see God’s love.
Be Real
During times of grief, I’ve realized we need to be real with God. Real as in being brutally honest about our feelings, both good and bad. You won’t offend God. He is the one who made us along with the complexities of emotions in the human experience. Since God is our Father and Friend, we should talk to him as such.
In the story of Job, Job suffers extreme loss in his finances, his physical health, his material belongings and his loved ones. Although he starts off with “good Christian” sayings (Job 1:21, 2:10), self-pity and grief overtake him, which twists his theology and fills him with anger and confusion (Job 3, 6-7, 9-10, 12-14, 16-17, 19, 21, 23-24, 26-27, 30-31).
It wasn’t till Job’s last speech (Job 29-31) that he was real with God. In return, God gave him a real, beautiful response that encapsulates the plans and protection provided by God that we just don’t understand with our earthly view (Job 38-41).
During this time of grief, we too can see God’s work instead of just hearing about it (Job 42:2-5).
Stay Close
We all grieve in our own way, and that’s okay. Whether it’s taking time to be alone, doing a hobby to clear your mind or spending time with family and friends, each are great ways to get through a time of grief.
The most important thing to do during times of grief is to lean on God. Leaning can be different for each of us. From playing worship songs every morning, reading devotionals or listening to a message, the point is to be in His presence.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. If your heart is broken, you’ll find God right there; if you’re kicked in the gut, he’ll help you catch your breath” (Psalm 34:18).
Being with other believers during this time is just as important and helpful, in fact, we’re called to do so (Hebrews 10:25). So keep each other in mind and in your prayers.
Jesus Knows How You Feel
I think we often forget that Jesus was fully God and fully man. We miss that Jesus went through the human experience not just to save us but also to show us how to rely on God when we’re in difficult seasons, especially in times of grief. I think the following moments best exemplify that:
Jesus had a moment of anger and even cried (John 11:33, 35) when he went to see Lazarus. Angry that one of his best friends passed away, angry that he had to wait to arrive after Lazarus’ passing, Jesus cried and mourned with other family and friends.
When Jesus was told of John the Baptist’s death, he went away to be alone (Matthew 14:13). If we’re being honest, this is something we all do.
While Jesus was in the village of Nain, he passed by a funeral for a widow’s only son. Jesus’ heart was filled with compassion when he saw those in mourning (Luke 7:13).
All three of these moments end with the glory of God shining through. Lazarus and the widow’s son were raised from the dead, and Jesus used that time alone to fuel his ministry and perform miracles. In due time, we’ll see the glory.
Hope in Heaven
I never used to think of heaven until my Apa passed away. When he did pass, my perspective was morbid and clouded by the grief I was feeling. I was focused on what was lost and not the promise made between God and Jesus.
In John 17:24, Jesus prays, “I desire that they also, whom you have given me, may be with me where I am, to see my glory.” Through this prayer, we see that our loved ones are in paradise with Jesus. Something my family said is that my Apa is helping the Lord build a place for us (John 14:2-4) for when we see each other again. Your loved ones are doing the same.
So let us rejoice that our loved ones will have no more sickness or pain, have new bodies (Luke 9:28-36), are crowned with righteousness (2 Timothy 4:8) and get to be called “good and faithful servants” (Matthew 25:21,23). They will cheer us on as we run our race.
Grow
Pictured above is an illustration from one of my counseling sessions following my Apa’s passing. The mess that’s inside won’t go away, but it also won’t grow any bigger. It’s us that grows from this moment.
We can and will grow once this season is over. It’s a promise. We will change for the better (Proverbs 20:30), we will have renewed strength (Isaiah 40:29-31) and we will have peace in knowing that this will all work out for good (Romans 8:28).
Let our prayer be that we “realize the brevity of life, so that we may grow in wisdom” (Psalm 90:12) and that this season of grief will turn into moments and soon into memories that we can look back on with joy and peace.