A reflection on senior year
One more semester. One more semester until I graduate and move into a world of unknowns. As I prepare myself for life after Azusa Pacific, I find myself looking inward, reflecting on who I have become during my four years here.
What follows is a series of my personal “signs of the times;” a reflection on signs that are representative of my life right now. I hope that you are able to relate to some of these, and, if not, perhaps it can serve as a reminder to take time to reflect on yourself and analyze who you are and who you want to be after college.
As the end of first semester approaches, I am still at a loss as to why I put so much on my plate this senior year. It seems counter intuitive to me. This should be the time to take things easy and focus on what is most beneficial for my future. Yet, I did the opposite, and now, I’m a bit overwhelmed.
My most time consuming tasks are undoubtedly my job as ZU Magazine copy editor, ZU News staff writer and as president of Lambda Pi Eta (LPE). LPE is APU’s Communications Honor Society. In addition to hosting two LPE induction ceremonies, I am also taking charge of this year’s IMPACT Conference. It was a responsibility I was not ready for; however, I am determined to challenge myself and push myself more than ever before. I wasn’t very involved during my previous three years at APU, but I committed to making up for lost time and missed opportunities right now.
As much as I am thriving with grades and extracurriculars, I can’t say my success has translated into post-grad confidence. My future is as uncertain as it has ever been. I have not found a job or internship in my field, not including my current position as ZU Magazine copy editor. The worry really sets in when I realize I need to find an internship in less than a month in order to graduate; internships are required as a journalism major. Not to mention the stress that comes along with the infamous student loans. Let’s just say I met with my financial aid counselor not too long ago and the numbers weren’t pretty. However, despite all of this, I remain hopeful that things will work out. I am surrounded by capable and supportive friends and family members who will help me through the hard times and motivate me to do better — to be better.
In a way, everything I have described is some form of self-discovery. I have uncovered aspects about myself that I did not know or did not have my freshman year of college. And, in spite of my unknown future, I can confidently say I chose the right major. That in itself is a big accomplishment. I have come into my own as a writer and have developed a particular niche I excel in. I had doubted my major choice several times along the way and changed my concentration, too. Yet, now I am able to see the growth and advancement I have made in my field. This is why I remain optimistic about what the future holds. No matter what life throws my way, I know I will be able to handle it.
Here it is folks. It’s time for the old APU cliché: “I’m in love and I’m going to get married after I graduate.” At least, that’s how my boyfriend and I picture our relationship progressing. We have been dating for a little over two years now and have discussed getting engaged towards the three year mark, after we both graduate and, hopefully, find jobs near one another. I never thought I would be in the position I am now: in love, discussing marriage and a life beyond APU together. I guess the APU love bug is real.
I’m sure my signs of the times will continue to change and develop as time goes on — but, I have learned to embrace where I am in life right now and appreciate transformation. Growth is a beautiful thing!