Trauma hinders growth, but it doesn’t have to stop it.
In today’s world, it’s nearly impossible to meet someone who has not experienced trauma, whether personally or indirectly. On Sept. 1, CNN reported that there were 283 mass shootings in North America this year. The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence reports that 25 percent of all women living in the U.S. have suffered violent domestic abuse in their lifetimes. Add these to the many stories of migrant families being torn apart, the increase in school shootings and rising suicide rates, and it becomes aparent that there are many reasons a person might experience trauma. Through it all, we are left asking whether a person can overcome trauma and what their lives might look life after they heal.
The American Psychological Association describes trauma as “an emotional response to a terrible event like an accident, rape or natural disaster,” but the affects of trauma go beyond emotions, which can differ from person to person. Trauma is difficult to overcome not only because it’s an emotional response to something negative, but because it is a mental response.
The after effects of traumatic situations can leave people with mental illnesses such as post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts and a loss of hope and will for the future, according to Andrea Kopstein, author of “Trauma-Informed Care in Behavioral Health Services.”
“Trauma can affect one’s beliefs about the future via loss of hope, limited expectations about life, fear that life will end abruptly or early, or anticipation that normal life events won’t occur,” wrote Kopstein.
Because of this, traumatic experiences can radically affect a person’s life. The emotional dysfunction of traumatic responses can lead to bursts of rage, sorrow, depression and other negative emotions that can get in the way of daily living. Some victims might experience loss of sleep due to anxiety or insomnia, which may affect their work and personal lives. Others might find it difficult to maintain a healthy lifestyle, and because of this, some might turn to substance abuse as a way to cope.
Nobody ever wants to be a victim. The word itself is sticky and gross, insinuating that the person experiencing trauma has lost a sense of control in their life, but unfortunately, this can be the case for some. While some victims might push their experiences aside and carry on living as though nothing happened, internally, they might be more distressed than they’re leading on. For those who cannot suppress their negative responses to trauma, outside influences might prove to be unhelpful.
Among the most common phrases told to victims of all kinds are: “Just get over it,” “Forgive and forget” and “Move on.”
But the thing about trauma is that a person cannot simply move on. And, regardless of intention, being told to just get over it is not only unhelpful, it’s also unsympathetic.
These consequences of trauma are not easily pushed aside. A person cannot simply choose to stop experiencing mental illnesses or to not be affected by the trauma they’ve experienced. For some, mental illness comes from a chemical imbalance in the brain, making it a scientific problem rather than an emotional one. For others, mental illnesses can only be cured through longtime efforts through therapy, spiritual growth and/or confronting their past in a healthy manner. In either situation, recovering from trauma is not easily done.
So, what can a person do?
1 Corinthians 10:13 (NRSV) reads, “No testing has overtaken you that is not common to everyone. God is faithful, and He will not let you be tested beyond your strength, but with the testing He will also provide the way out so that you may be able to endure it.”
Human beings are creatures of free will who can decide for themselves what they will do and how they will react to a situation. People can’t always control what happens to them, but they can control how they react to those events. They can get help from a number of sources and confide in good friends, therapists and parents, depending on their situation. Some might also confide in pastors or mentors. By seeking help, trauma victims are able to slowly reclaim their lives.
Since trauma hinders some people’s outlook on life, it can be hard to confide in others, especially if the trauma they’ve experienced was viewed as shameful within their community. Men, for instance, are reported to experience sexual abuse at lesser rates than women; however, it’s commonly believed they report such abuses less frequently than women due to the fear of appearing less masculine or being labeled a victim. In cases like this, a lot of men experience PTSD and other disorders as a result of the trauma they’ve experienced.
By not coming forward, they disallow themselves to heal properly. The problem doesn’t go away because it is ignored. Since we have free will, it becomes our duty to try to live the best lives we can. And although this can be hard, it is a necessary step towards healing. Life isn’t about ignoring one’s traumatic past. It’s not about just getting over it. Healing is not synonymous with forgetting.
Rather, the beauty of life is that we are able to be reborn through our past experiences. No matter how many times we’ve been hurt, we have the ability to decide what to do with that pain. We can hide it and let it ruin us, or we can harness that pain to do something better — to say to ourselves and the world, “I will live a life worth living; I will make the world a better place than when I found it; and I will not let anyone or anything else dictate my self worth.”
This is an easy choice for some to make, but for others, it is a journey that will have many ups and downs. Failure is inevitable, but giving up is not. The only way we lose is if we stop trying.
If you or someone you know is going through a traumatic experience, suffers with mental illness or suicidal thoughts, visit your local counseling office, police station or church to find the healing options that best suit your needs.