At 10 years old, I met my best friend, and we grew up alongside one another. He lived down the street from me; we went to school together; we slept over at each other’s houses; we played video games until we physically couldn’t; we told each other everything. We were always with each other, brothers basically.
We went to elementary school together, and during middle school, our friendship grew even more. We went through middle school like any other young teenagers, bringing our Nintendo DS’ to school and challenging each other to Pokemon battles. We finished middle school and to our disappointment, we were attending two different high schools. But this separation only brought us closer. We found new ways to stay in touch, like talking over chat while we watched YouTube videos, and we made sure to visit each other more frequently.
The trouble began once he transferred to my high school. At first, this sounded great, and I was super excited that we would be going to the same school again. But what I didn’t know was that this was the beginning of a falling out.
While apart, I found my way into a new friend group and he met a girl who rocked his world. Because of these new relationships, we started to drift away. Due to a disagreement on how I would fit into his life while he was in a relationship, we cut each other off.
Our split was one of the hardest things I have ever gone through, but I learned from it; life goes on, we find other friends and things happen for a reason. We are never prepared to deal with losing someone we deeply care about; they are the last person you’d think would ever leave you. But with loss comes a chance for new beginnings. My goal for this article is not to help you get over these kinds of losses — you have to do that yourself — but rather, to help you move on and grow from these losses.
Life Goes On
As the cliché goes, life can end in an instant and it is too short to be holding onto the past. I cried for days and suffered mentally because of our split. The person I wanted to talk to about my feelings was no longer in my life, and I had no other outlet. However, I knew I was going to be okay. I had no idea how I knew that, but I just did, you feel?
Doors will open and opportunities will come; you will make new friends; you will reach your goals and have a great life. The great thing about that is you are perfectly capable of achieving these things on your own, being the king or queen you are.
Our split consumed my life and had I assumed my life was over. But in reality, I had only experienced 10 percent of my life, and with this loss, even though painful, that other 90 percent was made less complicated without that person. We were put on two different paths, and though it was hard to understand, I’m finally able to say I am okay with that, and eventually, you will be too.
Others Will Come Around
The friend group I mentioned earlier became my biggest support system during my loss. It wasn’t easy losing the friend that knew my deepest secrets, but since he was out of the picture and I had all this free time to hang out with other people, I made new, close friends. My friend group wasn’t large and it shrunk every year, but from that group, I gained two of my best friends, and I traded one for two. It didn’t take long for the three of us to get as close as he and I were. We were always together. We sat together during pep rallies and the three of us supported each other in everything we did. Whether it was us showing up to Steven’s color guard performances or watching Ivan sing in the choir, we always had each others’ backs.
Within no time, I got over seeing my childhood best friend around school. However, I was still struggling with this adjustment mentally.
What is Meant To Be Will Be
I believe everything happens for a reason, so when bad things come around, I try to think of the good that can come from the situation. I will admit, it took me years to find the good in losing my old friend. But the light will find a way to shine in the darkest, deepest parts of life.
It took me years to get over this loss, but it is not impossible. Life became easier, and I saw how the situation helped me grow as a person.
Throughout this process, I made two new loyal friends, (the types of friends I can’t wait for my kids to meet) and most importantly, I learned how to move on.
I am positive that if we were still friends today, my life would be completely different. I might have gone to a different school, I probably wouldn’t be as close to Steven and Ivan and a million other aspects would have changed.
Loss is something life can never prepare you for, especially when you lose a best friend. Though he may have hurt me, and I may have hurt him too, I wish him nothing but the best. It has taken me some time to say that … but I truly mean it.
Applying these pieces of advice to your current situation can help ease the pain, but just like a splinter, you need to remove it completely. Instead of being mad about how your relationship ended, think about how much fun the two of you had while you guys were together. Thinking about the good times and not clinging to the past is what will help you grow from the situation. However, choosing to let go of the past is your own choice. So instead of holding onto it and deal with pain, anger and depression, I encourage you to let it go and experience the rest of life.