Let’s face it – most of us have mixed feelings about social media. I frequently go through phases of loving it or being completely sick of my phone. When I’m in the mood, I can spend hours crafting the perfect Instagram feed, wrapped up in my own world just to portray myself in a certain light. However, social media wasn’t designed so that we could focus on our online image; it was intended for connecting with friends and maintaining relationships. Somehow, we’ve turned this tool’s use upside down, choosing our phones over face-to-face interactions.
Social media was created to connect us with friends across the globe, but all too often it isolates us from others instead. Growing attached to our phones has made us socially inept in-person, and these small screens are used as a crutch in awkward situations. Think about it: when you are alone in public, is your first reaction to start a conversation with someone or to reach for the comfort of your cell phone? Even when we are with friends, many of us have a tendency to drift away from our conversations and towards social media.
We all desire caring friendships, but social media has captured our interest instead. According to Psychology Today, attention is one of our most fundamental needs. It is essential to our physical health and crucial to our relationships. So why is it that we blatantly ignore the friends right in front of us in favor of those online? There is a time and a place for scrolling through your Twitter feed, but it is not while you are grabbing coffee with a friend. Use your time wisely – switch on the Do Not Disturb setting and set your phone aside to truly focus during a conversation.
Using our phones to ignore others not only neglects the needs of those around us, but it is also damaging to our own wellbeing. According to a Forbes article entitled “6 Ways Social Media Affects Our Mental Health,” social media use is linked to feelings of social isolation. These feelings can occur even when we have many valuable relationships in our lives. Our perceived social isolation is tied to the comparisons we make while on social media.
We often measure our lives against our friends’ profiles to determine whether we are better or worse off than they are. These little messages creep up on us and slowly feed us a consistent story: that we are not good enough, so we are not wanted.
If social media was intended to connect people and maintain relationships, our use of it must be flawed. Thankfully, there are plenty of opportunities online to expand our friendships with others and even to encourage each other. One of my favorite practices on social media is using it to uplift others. Seeing a positive comment on our posts often brings us a little rush of excitement, and it is such an easy practice to incorporate into our regular online checkups. While social media friendships seem to be distinct from our “real life” relationships, we have the opportunity to positively impact the lives of others online and strengthen our in-person bonds. Considering that we have grown accustomed to feeling discouraged after spending time on social media, these pick-me-ups have the potential to brighten a friend’s mood in an unexpected way.
These encouraging words can be out-of-the-blue, but they can also be used intentionally to support others’ hard work. Many people showcase their talents online. We can use these opportunities to not only add to their self-esteem but also to commend them for their dedication and inspire them to further pursue their goals.
Showing our support online can also mean spreading the word about causes we care for and companies we believe in. Facebook and other sites provide ways to set up and donate to fundraisers. This sets a beautiful example of using social media to care for those around us rather than to create a self-centered online space. Sharing posts for our friend’s startup company or an organization we are passionate about benefits others and plays a part in their growth. There are so many ways we can use social media to encourage and inspire one another, and it only requires a simple effort on our part to make a big impact.
Sometimes we simply need to put our phones down and focus on our friends because they deserve our attention. In our spare time, while we’re scrolling through posts, we might as well take advantage of the opportunities we have to bring happiness to others. Find a way to use your go-to platform to encourage your friends. We can decide how to mentally approach social media, and we can use it for what it was initially designed for: to connect with others and strengthen relationships.