Paige Lange  |  Contributing Writer

The typical dream Valentine’s Day usually begins by waking up in the early morning with the sunlight seeping into your room. Roses would be set up right next to your bed along with a box of See’s candy and maybe a mason jar filled with “Reasons why I love you” notes.

That’s not mine. Not. At. All.

Since I’m single, my Valentine’s Day is a lot better. I get to do Valentine’s Day the way I want to do it.

I wake up a little later in the day just to roll over and snuggle back in. When I finally do wake up, I have a bouquet of lilies in a vase next to my bed that I set up the night before. Roses are original and classically beautiful, but lilies, they light up a room.

Oh and the chocolates – I choose peanut butter M&M’s instead. Unlike Forrest Gump, I like my chocolate very different than my life. I like my chocolates predictable, not filled with jellies and mystery creams. I don’t want a guessing game when I bite into my chocolate.

Perhaps after the typical morning gifts, breakfast would be made. Maybe coffee with eggs and bacon. It would be a cute bonding morning, the two lovebirds would dance around each other in the kitchen to create their breakfast.

For me, it happens to be a little simpler. I french press my coffee first, and I don’t have to share any of the coffee with someone else. Yup, that means a full pot for me, myself and I. My breakfast is made rather efficiently. I dance around the kitchen by myself before gobbling down the breakfast that I made to eat all by myself.

The early afternoon may be spent with a long walk on the beach, hand in hand.  A nice conversation to move into the afternoon and perhaps a picnic lunch on a blanket by the ocean.

Not being the biggest beach person myself, I choose to spend my afternoon for a long hike through Los Angeles forest. It’s a lot closer and I get to avoid all the traffic through Orange County.

Instead of searching for conversation topics, I get to spend the day alone. There’s no need to try to think of something to say, no awkward pauses or comments. I don’t have to work or weigh someone else’s opinion on how far to go or when to turn back.

After the afternoon activity; it comes time for dinner. The couple sits down at a wonderful dinner.  He sits there, wearing a tie and nice shoes. She doesn’t have a hair out of place and her dress highlights her silhouette. A rather handsome couple, they sit and laugh over a fantastic dinner before the night ends.

But for me, I sit down and treat myself right. When you sit alone, there’s no need to play coy about what you’re eating. So I skip right past the salad and go for the barbecued ribs. Since I didn’t wear my beautiful but uncomfortable dress, I have no panic attack when barbecue sauce drops onto my denim pants. The $15 tab isn’t that bad and I don’t have to address the awkward check problem.

Yeah, you know what I’m talking about.  The “I know you’re gonna pay for dinner, but I don’t want to act like a gold digger, so I’m gonna offer to help pay for the tip, but please say no” moment.

The perfect Valentine’s Day night ends with a movie. Popcorn is popped and a little banter about what movie to choose comes next. The movie is chosen and the couple (especially if they’re a newer couple) gets to awkwardly decide if there’s gonna be any cuddling involved.

When it comes to a movie night alone, I snuggle up in my favorite sweats with a cup of tea and put on my movie. There’s no conversation about what movie to play or no pretending that I enjoy chick flicks.  Nope, I grab the thriller right away.  I get to sit comfortably with no make-up on in my glasses, taking up the entire couch. I end the day asleep on the couch instead of staying up to discreetly kick the poor guy out.

This doesn’t mean I’m ridiculing your perfect Valentine’s Day plans. I think it’s amazing to spend time with someone you truly care about! So gentlemen, if you are lucky enough to score a Valentine this year, have fun and make the day special for her.

Oh and ladies, if the ratio isn’t working in your favor, don’t mope around.  Join me in being Cupid’s annoyance.  Go out with the person that will treat you exactly the way that you want – yourself.