How the Internet is turning strangers into friends.
Kimmi Ligh | Contributing Writer
As a fiction writer, I am always looking for new platforms for writing stories, and a few years ago, I found a community on Tumblr, a blogging and social networking site, that writes together almost 24/7. Someone started a chat room so we could talk about what we’re writing, but we also talked about what was going on in our lives and about our shared interests. On our Tumblr site, we write a series of short stories that take place in the same fictional world. Each individual generally only writes for the characters he or she creates. So while a friend and I can be writing one short story with our char- acters piece by piece, another two friends can write about something else, sometimes referencing what happened in the other ongoing story. The group develops writing skills and creates a social environment at the same time. One of my characters had a brother that was written by a young woman named Marisa, and she and I became friends. Our fictional characters drew us together into a genuine friendship. I pulled my first all-nighter writing and talking to her. When I got back from a missions trip in Mexico, she was the first one I called to talk to about it. We adopted each other as family, not just in our characters’ relationships but in our own lives as well.
Last summer, I flew across the country to visit Marisa in Florida. We had never met in-person, but we had been writing stories together on Tumblr for a year. Even though we were 2,500 miles away, we had talked each other through difficult times like panic attacks and deaths in the family, so I trusted her. Interestingly enough, I was not afraid of Internet stranger danger or afraid that maybe she was lying about who she was. I guess it might sound pretty weird to fly across the country on your own to spend a few days living with a person you’ve never met. Internet friendships are still something to be wary of, especially for young teenagers who may have not yet developed good judgment. But as a young adult, I would argue that true friendships made with people online are just as valuable and safe as friendships made face-to-face.
The T elegraph reports that typical users of social networking sites have twice as many online friends than in “real life. ” A study commissioned by the Cystic Fibrosis T rust found that the average social networker has 121 online friends to every 55 “physical” friends, which is actually 2.2 times more online friends than face-to- face ones. Furthermore, the study found that 1 in 10 people met their best friends online. “People [are] recognising that they can develop deep, meaningful connections with others that they’ve never met, and may never meet,” said clinical psychologist Helen Oxley.
Regarding the group of friends I write with, whenever we’re on the computer, we get on Skype and talk to each other. There are more than 20 of us, so there’s always someone on- line with whom to talk. Jessica Vitak, in her study and thesis, “Facebook ‘Friends’: How Online Identities Impact Offline Relationships,” analyzes the work of sociologist Barry Wellman. Wellman observed that in online communities, going out of one’s way to help strangers is encouraged and often rewards. Everyone, even the people who are newer to my writ- ing group, are both helpful and supportive.
Sometimes it’s easier to be closer to your Internet friends. Because we share common interests, we get to pass all those awkward introductions and often instantly become friends. I keep Skype up on my computer while I do homework, so I can talk to people while I work. If I need to concentrate, I can simply silence Skype and focus. Thus, not only can I talk to my friends anytime I want but I can choose not to talk to them without an excuse, and no one gets insulted. The study from the Cystic Fibrosis Trust pointed out that the Internet helps people with illnesses who often can’t go physically visit and make friends. I get sick a lot, but I don’t have to worry about infecting people online.
Of course, friends you can interact with in person are important, and my best friends are the people I have met and know at APU. But for people who are shy or don’t have many friends or are stuck at their computer doing homework, Internet friends can provide human interactions that all people need in their lives. The stranger danger stigma associated with online friendships should not exist. With current technology , thousands of miles can’t keep people from developing close, meaningful relationships.
Kimmi Ligh is a junior English major who enjoys writing fiction and her time spent studying aboard in Oxford this past fall.