Do you want to be Taylor Swift’s boyfriend? Why wouldn’t you? She’s beautiful, famous, rich, a great singer and she was picked as No. 1 Charitable Celebrity by DoSomething.org this year and last year.
Kimmi Ligh | Contributing Writer
I’ve researched all the boyfriends that Taylor has had in the past, and you can see if you match any of the qualities this singer seems to look for in a guy.
T-Swift became truly famous in 2008, when she started dating all her famous beaus.
JOE JONAS
Joe Jonas is the middle brother in the Jonas Brothers band. He infamously dumped Swift in a 27-second phone call. Tay went on Ellen to complain about it, and wrote the songs “Last Kiss,” “Forever and Always” and “Holy Ground” about him.
Note to women who date Taylor’s exes: WATCH OUT! Taylor’s shown that she has a scary and vengeful side when she wrote her song “Better than Revenge” about Jonas’ then-girlfriend Camilla Belle. Swift declares: “She’s not a saint and she’s not what you think, she’s an actress, whoa- oh. She’s better known for the things that she does on the mattress, whoa-oh.” Whoa. Try not to date someone immediately after you stop dating Taylor Swift. She doesn’t take it well. Although, maybe it didn’t help that Jonas wrote a song, “Much Better,” about it later, claiming that Belle was “much better” than Taylor Swift with “all the tears on her guitar.”
TAYLOR LAUTNER
This guy’s an actor made famous from the Twilight movie franchise. They met on set of the movie Valentine’s Day, where he and T-Swift play a high school couple. So, guys, if you want a better chance of dating Taylor, first get a role where you get to pretend to be her boyfriend and basically do nothing but kiss on screen. She’ll realize how great you are.
JOHN MAYER
John Mayer, a singer who’s much older than Swift, is the star of the obviously named song “Dear John.” Maybe you’re not about 10 years older than Taylor, but don’t worry. She seems to have decided that experienced, older men are not the best guys for her to date.
JAKE GYLLENHAAL
Taylor wrote the song “The Last Time” about actor Jake Gyllenhaal. He was, according to Swift in an NPR interview in November 2012, very unreliable. Since they only dated for three months, Taylor definitely wants a reliable guy.
CONOR KENNEDY
Conor Kennedy’s next, and he’s the only guy we know about in the recent years who’s actually not an actor or singer. But he’s still famous, since he’s part of the Kennedy family. The song about him, “Begin Again,” is actually positive. He laughed like a little kid, he’s a total gentleman, he stands and waves when he sees her, he tells her she’s funny… all good tips of ways to act, guys! They’re not together any more, but there was obviously something special about Kennedy. I’d suggest his gentleman-like manner and readiness to laugh.
HARRY STYLES
And finally, the last guy we know of: Harry Styles, the British lead-singer of One Direction with the crazy hair. “I Knew You Were Trouble” is about Styles (a line from which she tweeted after they broke up). The joke is on her, she said, because “a new notch in your belt is all I’ll ever be.” The lesson? Don’t treat girls like a notch in your belt, regardless of how fabulously London your fashion may be.
THE VERDICT
All these guys have dark hair. Do you have dark hair? No? Well, there’s always hair dye. Most of the guys she dates have dark eyes too. But if you don’t, luckily we have the blue-eyed Gyllenhaal to keep your hopes up. In her song, “Sparks Fly,” Taylor talks about a boy with green eyes, too.
But do you have to be famous in order for Taylor to consider dating you? After all, all her boyfriends seem to be, right? Wrong! Taylor was dating regular, not-famous boyfriends before she got famous. And those guys don’t have angry songs written about them. Except that one guy who cheated on her. Don’t cheat! He asked for forgiveness, said it was “a moment of weakness,” but Tay wasn’t having any of his excuses. After he cheated on her, she says that even just looking at him felt wrong. In her song “You Should’ve Said No,” she sings, “I should have been there in the back of your mind.”
So, what do you think? Do you have what it takes? If you’ve been convinced, send her a tweet. After all, what could she do to you? Write a song? (“I Knew You Were Trouble When You Tweeted Me”?)