Why does skin color still matter in the realm of dating? Staff writer, Dadrienne, writes about her interracial relationship and why mixed-race couples should not be a shock to the general public anymore. Why does it matter, anyway?

 

Dadrienne Thompson | Contributing Writer

I have never thought of my own relationship as being interracial, but as I look back at trips to the mall and other outings with my boyfriend, I can recall the odd looks people have given me that make me think otherwise.

Color has never affected my decision of who I date or who I befriend. In my opinion, it is simply a skin color. As a young girl, I never thought about the color of someone’s skin; I was just happy if the person shared a toy or cookie with me. Growing up, my house was (and still is) multicultural. My mom is Puerto Rican, my step-father is African American and my biological father is Creole. Race was never an issue. It wasn’t until later in life that I realized people are still judged because of their skin color.

I’m not saying I never experienced any discrimination. I have memories of receiving dirty looks while with friends or family. In some instances, I wasn’t even aware I was being judged. I can recall a time when I was with my mother, sister and roommate at Universal City- walk. We were waiting outside of Bubba Gump restaurant, and my mom suggested that my roommate and I go look at the menu that was hanging on a post.

We couldn’t decide what to eat, so we stayed there for quite some time, and while we were there, a woman with darker skin also came to look at the menu. My roommate and I were polite and said “hi,” and the woman continued a conversation with my roommate—but not me. (My roommate is a lighter than me and Hispanic.) The lady only looked at me, then looked away with an attitude—I thought nothing of it.

Not too long after, my mom called us to go inside because we were next in line. As soon as we were settled, my mom told me I was receiving dirty looks, and the lady who had ignored me kept staring at me with attitude. Well, as her daughter, I just thought, “Oh, she’s being protective,” and that’s all I thought of it. Events like this do not usually bug me, but this time even my roommate noticed. She mentioned other occasions where we’ve gone to the mall or to eat, and the same thing has happened. Even when I am with my boyfriend I get glares, and sometimes girls roll their eyes at me. It does get annoying, I will admit, but that doesn’t matter. My friendships and relationships are what matter.

Interracial relationships are said to be more common now than ever before. What is an interracial relationship? The dictionary definition of “interracial” is simply something involving people of different races. In 2010, a USA TODAY article said, “interracial marriages have gone up 28 percent since 2000.” This is a big jump, since this type of marriage was not common a few decades ago. Nowadays, there are interracial dating websites such as InterracialMatch.com that exist, which claims (by their own site, look it up!) to be the number one interracial dating site in the world with free sign-ups. Allinterracialcentral.com is another site that has a free search function as well. Regardless of whether the increase can be attributed to these interracial dating websites, interracial relationships are becoming more popular and more accepted.

As my curiosity sparked about this subject, I found a quote in the USA Today article by Dan Lichter, a sociologist at Cornell University. He wrote, “Race is still a category that separates and divides us,” but “this [rising percentage of interracial relationships] might be evidence that some of the historical boundaries that separate the races are breaking down.” I found this to be very true because race has had and sometimes still has a bad reputation because of the history of discrimination in the U.S.

As interracial marriages and relationships become more commonplace, it seems what matters is the heart of the person rather than the outward appearance. This idea is similar to that of 1 Samuel 16:7 which says, “…man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

All this to say, I love my boyfriend Chris for who he is, not his appearance. Our relationship was never based off of anything concerning race, but because we have things in common, such as our love for God and music. My friends have accepted him and so has my family.

But why does it matter? If God hand-picked someone for you to date and that person has different skin color from you, then so be it! Skin color had no say in how I chose my partner, and Chris feels the same way. While speaking to him about the subject, he thought it was interesting because he pointed out that he had never thought of our relationship as “interracial” either and has even been complimented for dating me (which I thought was interesting). Chris explained that, “Other races didn’t just see me as the white guy, [since] that’s judgmental, but as a friend because I wasn’t ashamed to share the love I have for you. It doesn’t matter who I am with, whether Black, Mexican, Asian etc…”

At the end of our conversation, Chris decided to share a guy’s perspective of interracial relationships. He wrote, “You know how people say, ‘The sky’s the limit’? Well, I don’t agree with that. Beyond the sky are galaxies, and I’m sure those galaxies are hiding something beautiful. Go beyond the sky and find that galaxy you’re looking for. I found my galaxy and she is amazing. I love and care for her so much and would do whatever I can to be next to her. I didn’t set the sky as my limit, and you shouldn’t either. You could be missing out on something very beautiful.”

So I ask again, why does it matter?